Content: humor

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An abused woman finds her heart and soul in the most unlikely of places.

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The Wizard Diaries is a comedic fantasy series about how the tropes and idioms of traditional fantasy stories would relate to actual history. It's written as if it were an ancient historical document that had been uncovered and translated, like Beowulf or the Morte D'Arthur.

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A woman experiences the perfect orgasm with dreaming about making love with an unknown man. She searches for someone comparable during her daily activities. And, the end, well read on....Did you find this story funny? Is it tight enough? All comments welcome...thanks....

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This is my entry in Round Two of a summer-long fiction competition. You have to write a piece of fiction 2,500 words or less from one of three prompts. Killer prompts this week. The one that inspired this piece was large women's nylons. Two years ago, I wrote a 350 flash on this theme. I added about 1,100 words to that original piece and shipped it off. Thanks for the early editing suggestions. Note to readers--you might not want to read the reviews--plot spoilers contained within.

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This is a humorous, Erma Bombeck style article about my pedicure experience at a nail salon. I had not shaved my legs for several days and I'm not sure who was more mortified- myself or the young man preforming the pedicure.

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Some fun with animals in a zoo. Imagining what they think. Some innocent animal philosophy. Do some nitpiking, have some fun, think of a few interesting animals to add to this group. Thanks for reading...

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Sit in a Starbucks, pick a guy, suck on your finger and wink, and you can most likely option a bedfellow, should you want him. Nobody knows this better than Sara Friche, a good-hearted and independent paramour. Outwardly a graphic artist, Sara lives a secret life as Velvet the courtesan. Striving for true intimacy, Sara courts her lonely clients through the Internet personals, then brings them into her world to share laughter, friendship and orgasms. Even for carefree women, though, love sometimes comes with loss. When Sara's favorite patron dies, and inquisitive wife Charlene appears on her doorstep, Sara realizes that her life may not be as comfortably predictable as she expects. When Sara falls in love with new patron Lyon, wealthy playboy Daniel rushes in to regain ownership of his courtesan. The two men compete fiercely for Sara, crushing her soul in a fiery clash of wills, however with the help of girlfriend Stacy, and wife Charlene, Sara regains her footing, discovering the depths of love, and the man who truly loves her.

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A fractured bedtime story inspired by flowing pencil

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Humble Sky tells the story of the development of a new drug for depression. Seen from the inside of a biotechnology start-up company, four characters' perspectives are used: Jacob (a middle manager and smart aleck), Emma (Jacob's spouse), Tony (Jacob's boss), and Patty (Jacob's employee). Tony manages the company like a dysfunctional parent and requires employees to spy on one another. Emma suffers from depression and pressures Jacob onto a Texas-themed cruise ship. Patty saves the scientific integrity of their work from Tony's profiteering and reaps her own financial reward. Jacob travels to the Caribbean, pits Texan and French passengers against one another and in a Book of Job-inspired sequence, he has a conversation with God. Feedback of all kinds welcome.

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Luca’s Lament is a novel about two lifelong buddies, Tim O’Neill and Luca DiAngelo. For the most part, the story plays itself out in the Bronx’s Belmont neighborhood, also known as Little Italy. There, they first meet on the streets as young teens in the early decade of the Sixties - two very different personalities from two very different families. “La Famiglia”, too, is an essential element in the story. For Luca, it is the tie that binds, and for Tim, supports and assists, in both men’s attempts to achieve their versions of the American Dream. Yes, the Mob is alive and well in the plot, but not central to what most concerns the story - the meaning of friendship and loyalty, and sometimes, its heavy price. There is humor and laughter, as well, and of course, there is a woman, Alicia Almeida, an immigrant from Brazil. The syncopated beat and rhythm of her life sambas across the path of both men, intriguing the one and overwhelming the other. She arrives on our shores in search of her American Dream, much like those earlier generations who tramped through the corridors of Ellis Island. Unlike them, the flavors of Alicia's American Dream differ greatly, though the struggles and uncertainties of a new immigrant in a new world are much the same. Enjoy - R A Keen

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My first ever attempt at writing since leaving high school a decade ago. I think I'm funny, guess just want to know if I'm totally dellusional in thinking so. Written in the first person I tried to really capture the thoughts of the average guy in average circumstances with above average wit amd an above average predaliction with pop-culture references. Be brutal. I can take it.

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19-year-old Eva has a boyfriend back home in Oregon, but what American girl can resist a Scottish accent? Romancing an Edinburgh barkeep while working abroad, she knows she's taking risks. What she doesn't expect is the third guy entering the picture: a sarcastic fellow traveler who discovers her secret and becomes her unlikely confidante. Meanwhile her best friend scares herself witless ghost-hunting in Edinburgh's medieval streets, and Eva's boyfriend gets it into his head to come visit without advance warning. It will be a miracle if Eva can leave Scotland with all her relationships, and her sanity, intact.

Types of feedback? Any! I'm still tinkering with this story, but hope to get it posted this year and shape it into the type of Young Adult novel that adults enjoy too.

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A re-write based on the excellent feedback I received. I'm considering submitting this for publication, although I have no idea what magazines would take this type of work. So, any feedback you have would be great. I'm sure there are still some typos -- I never seem to be able to get them all, no matter how much I look. A couple of specific questions I have are: do "dad" and "mom" need to be capitalized? Can I quote song lyrics without infringing copyright? Thanks in advance for your help.

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This is a spoof of the career of a notorious fugitive and his mistress and of the attempts of the FBI to find them, and also of aspects of contemporary U.S. life such as our preoccupation with and ignorance of nutrition and exercise, and a banking industry that facilitates easy movement of proceeds from criminal activity. Although I hope it is funny, I changed the genre from humor to literary fiction because deeper meaning emerged in the first 18 chapters. I very much appreciated reviews on the first submission, hope this is improved, and welcome any and all suggestions.

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Just a few suggestions about writing sex scenes in fiction.

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Donnie Dare is lured to an encounter that changes her life.

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While out for back surgery I thought about my "collegues" in the tech world and the silly things they do, so I wrote about them. Most everything here is true. Unfortunately my writing expereince prior to this consists almost entirely of technical documentation. Since this is the case, passive voice, mixing past, present and future tense in the same sentence and grammer in general is difficlut for me. All comments are greatly appreciated. Advice is most welcome as well.

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In the form of a comic, coming-of-age novel, The Happiness Apprentice explores the positive psychology movement through protagonist Mike Morgan, an ADD afflicted snowboarder, who wakes up one day—dead—in a job that’s way over his head. As an unwilling recruit in The Happiness Initiative, miserable Mike is thrust into an environment where everyone is joyous. Even Christ, nailed to the cross, has a smile on his face. And worse yet, Mike’s assignment is to help living people find happiness. But his real challenge is to regain his own, despite pining away for his hot girlfriend, fending off advances from his perky, middle-aged boss, and of course, being dead. All comments welcome. I look forward to hearing form you.

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Okay so after a year of reviews from everyone on the site, and after some soul searching, some serious edits, rewrites and revisions I am now reposting my book, Redemption Don't Come Cheap. It is now called - Once Upon A Time In Brooklyn - and I hope you like it. The story opens in 1964 when three nine year-old boys from diverse backgrounds view the movie Goldfinger for the twentieth time and see no problem in emulating their hero by painting the baby sister of one of the boys bright red, from neck to toes. Fortunately, the baby takes it all very well, and is unharmed, but the aftermath of the boys’ punishment rips their friendship apart. In fact, they barely talk for thirty years until a break-in at a local store, a twist of fate, and a series of letters from the grave inexplicably and simultaneously draw them back to the scene of the crime. Here they reveal multiple ‘long kept’ secrets under the stress of a new, shared predicament and it becomes clear that at least one of them may have to die to save the other two.

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We (my co-creator and I) would be delighted to hear anything feedback you think could help us improve this work. I am especially interested to know if it keeps you wanting to read more. This is a working title and we would also love to have any suggestions on that. Thank you for taking the time to read this! We really appreciate that! We look forward to hearing from you!

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All Z Anna Marley wanted to do was save her money to finish college. Instead, she's agree to loan what she has saved to Hoops--her best friend’s brother AND the love of her life. They all, including her best friend’s boyfriend plotted to take a road trip to Mexico to save Hoops' Mexican girlfriend, who has been tricked into going to Mexico and kidnapped by her own family because they didn’t want her dating a black man. Raising hell from Atlanta, GA straight to the border of Mexico, Z battles against the love she has for Hoops, who has taken advantage of how she felt since they were children. Although she deemed herself the biggest woman fool for helping the man she love set his girlfriend free, she also wanted to find out if that experience would set her free to love someone else. From unpredictable voodoo curses in Louisiana to real life cowboy shoot outs in the deserts of Texas, Z finds out the money for her education has already paid for the biggest lesson in her life...

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A hair-raising tale.

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This is really more for a middle grade audience and is a humorous tale. It's about one of those staple teen protagonists, Abbie (who happens to have an funny bodily issue), who is tired of being picked on by the school biatch, Dylan, and decides to give her a taste of her own medicine. I wrote this for fun and I hope you like it. Feel free to comment at will. As any writer should, I can take it.

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True story of a funny (at least now) moment early in our marriage. Anyone that is married, or has a significant other will appreciate this "revenge" story.

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This a actually a novella I hope to sell as an ebook. Some parts are most explicit and I won't be in the least offended if readers skip over some of that. But I'd like to ferret out the typos, grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors and any lapses in logic. It's meant to be funny, so if the jokes fall flat please say so.

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This is an overly ambitious, schizophrenic hodgepodge of metaphysical philosophy and gutter humor centered around some two-bit gangsters and the women who love them...Have fun.

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Dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in town: $85.00 A manicure at the new place on 10th: $35.00 The greasy duck: $16.99 Time with the family: Priceless. More of a character sketch than anything else that just nagged at me until it was written down. Don't you love it when characters do that? And isn't it fitting that this character, out of all of them, would nag particularly well?

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A pleasure-loving professional woman, Grace Savage, is shaken down to her boyshorts when she visits Shaker Village, a celibate community in the Granite State, and glimpses her personal future mired in a maiden state.

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This is about a woman spending a day at the circus when she lives through an event she will never forget. Any and all feedback are welcome however I'm most intrested in making sure the story is easy to follow. Thanks for reading.

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This a actually a novella I hope to sell as an ebook. Some parts are most explicit and I won't be in the least offended if readers skip over some of that. But I'd like to ferret out the typos, grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors and any lapses in logic. It's meant to be funny, so if the jokes fall flat please say so.

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This a actually a novella I hope to sell as an ebook. Some parts are most explicit and I won't be in the least offended if readers skip over some of that. But I'd like to ferret out the typos, grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors and any lapses in logic. It's meant to be funny, so if the jokes fall flat please say so.

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This a actually a novella I hope to sell as an ebook. Some parts are most explicit and I won't be in the least offended if readers skip over some of that. But I'd like to ferret out the typos, grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors and any lapses in logic. It's meant to be funny, so if the jokes aren't working, please say so.

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This is an old series of email journals I sent back to the states when I was studying abroad. It became a sort of local sensation while I was away. Just some fun fluff. Enjoy! No publication ambitions here, nor is it to be taken as serious writing. Novella. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

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A re-write of the original. FYI: Vulgar language ensues. I've taken all the advice I received here and did some nipping and tucking where necessary. Any and all feedback is welcome.

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My kids begged me for a mouse. I finally gave in. Here's my story. This is my very first post at TheNextBigWriter. I hope I'm in the right place.

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A man faces his fear of deep water by agreeing to go water skiing in the ocean. Things don't go so well. I wrote this for fun and have previously posted it on my blog. Any and all feedback appreciated. I'm just a newbie looking to learn this craft.

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This story is a lighthearted look a flea market vender's day. I'm going to enter this in a contest next week, so any help polishing it up would be much appreciated. Though all characters are completely fictional, there really is a Luke's flea market near here, where they sell everything from food to used firearms and farm animals.

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Revised: The first four chapters have been revised taking reviews into consideration. Also, the original Chapter 3 is now Chapter 2, while 4 is 3, and 2 has the 4 slot - all of which will effect the attached reviews. Does the shuffling help or hinder? This novel is set within an orphanage in North Carolina during the mid fifties and sixties. Though it is basically true, the characters are composite and the time lines may be occasionally altered with some literary license thrown into the mix. I am looking for ANYTHING which might improve the readability, especially with regards to characters, dialogue, description, etc. Thanks!

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Modobenny has been twisting my arm. She has finally convinced me to begin the process of coalescing these stories into a novel format. Some of the chapters are simply cut and paste from the Short Story postings. Others are new. As always, have at it with suggestions. Lord knows, I wouldn't let any of you off the hook. Thanks again, to all who have helped me get even this far. I couldn't have done it without you. Scott

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Re-worked and heavily edited for another round of submissions. Any help/advice/criticism welcomed...

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Divorce from a man's perspective perhaps?

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News Report: The Daily Mouse. Jan 6, 2008 Four cats were arrested in connection with the murder of a mouse at the house of a local writer.When questioned, the cats categorically denied the crime, made a statement to Ms Nove to this effect, and were released on bail of 1 kilo of cheese. Investigations are ongoing.

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Sometimes politics is crazy like cats, mice and clocks all running to the finish line and here they go again.

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For some unknown reason, women feel they must drop hints as to the gifts they would like to receive from men. The poem is a silly take on how this ritual does NOT work!

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Thought I'd take a shot at a drabble. I was stuck on 98 words for the longest time.

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The great tail grackle is ubiquitous in my part of the world, and they make messes everywhere they congregate. In this poem, I express my discontent with those dirty grackles.

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This was one of the first poems I wrote. It is definitely one of the longest. I love to eat and this is just one of my favorite treats.

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A casual search of the Internet will reveal two schools of thought on the origin of the first Bible. While some believe the good book was commissioned by the Roman emperor Constantine, others contend the various books of the Old and New Testaments were not compiled until a much later date. As the Bible itself is full of inconsistencies and contradicitons, I felt free to choose the version that best suits my purpose.

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Finally stepping up to the plate to write a short story. This is my first go at it, so honest feedback, however brutal it may be, would be greatly appreciated.

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I spent a lot of time on the ocean for a resident of Kansas. The ocean can bring a lot of beneficial things. Sometimes it can bring death.

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I have revised the original posting of "In a Pig's IQ," taking into consideration the original reviews. It is slightly longer than the original.

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Author Lady is back for another snarky review of the writing world. It has nothing to do with anyone on this site or any review given to me or anyone I know or have seen – well, okay, I was talking to Dewey about descriptions. He told me I need to work on mine – which is true – So I get to write another short story and I hope I get the descriptions right, hang the characters and the plot! I just want to work on my descriptions – or is word painting a better descriptive phrase? (WARNING – BLOOD AND GUTS – COULD BE A BIT DISTURBING)

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A ship loaded with iron ore comes in to dock at a steel mill. Because a crew member has a febrile illness, the company's medical director must determine if the illness is a communicable disease requiring the ship to be quarantined. Any suggestions about the Spanish (or anything else) are welcome although I don't want Joe's to be too accurate. Also, I'm concerned about some of the extraneous stuff, i.e. the Chinese flu, the Swedish ship.

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My first and only entanglement with the dreaded Haiku

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THANKS TO ALL THE INPUT I RECEIVED THE LAST TIME I POSTED THIS, I HAVE SPENT SIX MONTHS RE-EDITING AND TAKEN WHAT WAS A 200,000 WORD NOVEL DOWN TO A 113,000 WORD NOVEL. YOU WERE ALL CORRECT, IT WAS WAY TOO LONG. ANYWAY, HERE WE GO AGAIN:- Redemption Don’t Come Cheap opens in Brooklyn in 1964, after three nine-year-old boys from diverse backgrounds view the movie Goldfinger for the twentieth time. Later they see absolutely no problem in emulating Mr. Bond’s movie and painting the eighteen-month-old sister of one of the boys, bright red from neck to toes. The baby survives in good humor and for two of the boys, the repercussions of their punishment are maybe just, for the third it is simply tragic. The aftermath rips their friendship apart, throws their lives onto very different courses and the boys ultimately grow to distrust and dislike each other. They barely talk for thirty years; until a break-in at a local pet store, a strange twist of fate and a series of letters from the grave finally start to work, and all three men are inexplicably drawn back to the scene of the ‘baby painting,’ simultaneously. Once they meet again, they face up to old truths, reveal multiple secrets and nothing is ever what it seems for very long. When a brand new shared predicament makes it clear at least one of them needs to be a scapegoat and die, they begin a fight for personal survival. Their epic story involves multiple pet thefts from a local Mafia boss, a language-challenged priest who pays dearly for insulting the pope, a drunken monkey with a very bad attitude, an international diplomatic incident, the repeated theft of some very unlucky diamonds, abduction, subtle deceit, public humiliation, bare-faced lying, cheating, murder in abandon, accidental serial pet-o-cide, a trip through the Twilight Zone and finally, for one of them, personal redemption.

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When working in San Francisco you have to ask, “Is pot still illegal?” Young Jason has taken his first hit of marijuana. It's not sitting well with him. Jason also has a date. I sort through the medical issues while tempering the affections of the two lovebirds. In San Francisco, normal is a little different. Before the story, I've included a "Snippet", a totally unrelated flash. I've got these lying around and wanted to get some thoughts on them as well.

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When film people are around there are opportunities for others

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Welcome to Maudlingham, a quaint little English town tucked away in the green belt area off the south coast, carefully hidden from the spotlight of modern day commerce.

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After a writing class in which we discussed how to write about sex (street terms vs anatomical), I came home and wrote this piece of nonsense using every anatomical term I could find. Strictly for fun. Rphil205

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What do a young, disillusioned man, a baseball fan, and an anarchist lesbian from Switzerland have in common?**** Mick, who dislikes his job, isn’t sure about his wife, disdains work at any level and desperately wants a massage. Max, who has no job, loves his wife, loves baseball but not the players, and wonders what to do next with his life. And Holly Al-Gutentag, an equal rights anarchist and lightly armed pacifist lesbian from Switzerland.**** These three seemingly unrelated lives each have their unique problems. Witness the slow boil to fruition, ultimately symbolized by Lady Liberty herself. Find out why they’re PISSED — and how three separate stories can have the same ending.**** (86,500 words.) NOTE: PLEASE START AT THE BEGINNING. Thank you.

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Let’s just say an abscess doesn’t happen overnight. When Danielle and I get called at three in the morning, the patience line is a little thin. The ambulance is locked inside a parking lot and I must play twenty questions to find the key to the gate. It’s now four in the morning and I blow my top. These are the calls that eat paramedics alive over the years.

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Cupid's arrow strikes a young lad (the author)in this hilarious true story. Only Cupid's aim is a tad off! This is the honest to God true story of what happened to me the moment I realized what GIRLS were! Everything that happens in this story really happened to me on a warm summer day in 1975!

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Betty Kay (or is it Kay Betty?) has a nosebleed. She won’t give a straight answer and I am losing my mind just trying to get her name. In the end, I am exhausted after verbally jousting with a difficult patient and even more shocked to find out why her nose started bleeding in the first place.

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This is an advertisement I came across in the local newspaper the other day!

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The true life saga of New England way-farers or you really can't get they-ah from he-ah.

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This is just another one of my rants, as well as being self-therapy. I was a legal secretary for about 12 years too long, so that would be 12 years I was a legal secretary. The lawyers are being punished in my novel but I think the clients deserve some attention as well. I swear on a stack of pancakes, a smoke stack, a stacked deck, and a stacked dame that I had this conversation countless times during those 12 long years. My computer, in it's diabolical desire to screw up my life, denies me the use of italics. Sorry about that.

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Today is my third day at NBW writing school. I have decided to write "A POEM A DAY" to chronicle my time here. I've written a few tests. On day one I wrote "Good bye fears". Day two; "WHY DO WE HIDE". My marks age good, now I've got to make a few friends. I off to social study class, cause in life, every smirk needs a posy to hang."

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This bit of silliness was inspired by my year and a half stint as a wrangler of teen addicts and one of my daughter's high school friends.

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Another Sean/Roisin episode.

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There may be no such thing as an innocent touch between a man and a woman. But then, innocence is often over rated.

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This is the ultimate rant about one of my biggest pet peeves. Not for the faint of heart and by this, I mean men. All my male friends are horrified by this story. Luckily all my women friends are as sick and twisted as I am.

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Several months ago, someone, I think Selah, but I’m not positive, put forth a challenge to write a story using a provided list of words, some being: spigot, balcony, simple, price, migrate, customary, obedient, screen, broom, gypsy, tripod, state, scale, familiar, dodge. Sorry, I neglected to keep the list and don’t remember all of them, but that’s the bulk. I believe it had to be less than 1500 words or something like that. Anyway, I took up that challenge. Here’s my story. Hope you enjoy it.

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To whom does The People's Champion belong? The people or himself? That's the question foundling(orphan) Jakund Frey'lnd, a gifted young swordsman and war hero dubbed "Kid Blade," struggles with as he battles the ferocious Gothari and learns that his fame as warrior makes him a target for those looking to make a name for themself as well as an unwilling player in the games of the powerful. This is a Young Adult Fantasy, filled with humor and action, designed to appeal to all ages.

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It’s time to deliver the baby. Dad’s having a hard time sitting still, Mom is Deaf, and we’re all stuffed inside a ten-foot by four-foot ambulance.

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A female slob describes her method of dealing with guests.

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A young female police officer attempts to cope with clowns, riots, male police officers and big breasts.

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My boyfriend and I met on Valentine's Day and this poem was written for him on the next Feb. 14. Every word is true.

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A young woman's unwilling trip to a fortune teller offers a way out of what had seemed to be a bleak future.

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During 1939 in London, a new type of spying device has been presented, by its inventor, to Unit Five, a British intelligence unit. Unit Five's problem is to find a willing candidate to carry it inside Germany, while pretending to be a German Army officer. A desperate search ensues with lots of complications. But, when a volunteer arrives in Nazi Germany, just prior to war breaking out, extremely unusual coincidental events occur. The sex-starved wife of a German Army General ensnares the young British spy as a bed mate. From then on, a detailed plot unravels involving treachery, treason, sex and murder.

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Most historians list Princess Noor Inayat Khan as one of the most intriguing heroines of the Twentieth Century and rank her up near the top along with Mata Hari. She was born inside the Kremlin during 1914 and evolved from infancy into an emotional, naive, careless and beautiful young woman ... hardly the attributes of a future spy. This novel is based upon true events during the years 1914-1944. While being brought up in France, Princess Noor clandestinely falls in love with Paulo. He is torn from her arms after being drafted, during 1935, into the Italian army to fight in Ethiopia and she spends the next eight years trying to discover his whereabouts while he is constantly sent to other danger zones in North Africa, Spain and Russia.

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With some trepidation, I’ve agreed to match wits with my good friend Gale (Gem) Martin in a series of “he said-she said” columns. The cause of my reluctance isn’t Gale herself, but my own dismal performance when it comes to arguing with women—on any subject. My trophy case is empty, my win column destitute. When Gale says, “This will be fun.”, I hear the sound of knives on whetstones, the Pennsylvania Polka playing in the background. Make sure to let me know if I'm winning.

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Should women be called "girls"? Find out in the second verbal smackdown between Kirk and gem--from a new weekly column on gem's blog.

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The world in which we live is changing drastically. Science and technology are taking us to levels of existence hitherto deemed impossible. But where has man really progressed? Just a few thoughts.

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Ignoring all suggestions to tone down the sarcasm and balance this a bit more, I have added another scene that, to quote Barry, I SWEAR TO GOD REALLY HAPPENED. The characters and events in this story are irritating. Any similarity to real persons, living, or better off dead, is fully intended by the author, who strongly suggests that said persons get a clue.

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Introduction.... DADDY, WHY CAN'T I SAY 'ASS?' is about living in the moment, as well as living in some other moments; keeping your eye on the goal, once you get a goal; and eating hotdogs instead of Matzoh-ball Ramen soup. It’s about parenting the modern girl-child from the perspective of a divorced father, while he tries to find his voice as a writer and his place as a husband.

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We're six years into the 21st century and guys, it sucks to be you. There are lots of reasons why and Starbuck MacIntyre has a lot to say about it. Want to reclaim your masculinity? Tired of women trying to change you? Sick of psycho ex-girlfriends who call you when you're gettin' some with someone else? Got a girlfriend who reads chick-lit and who might be addicted to "Sex and the City?" This read is for you!

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I uncovered a shocking truth researching my online dating story for TNBW, which I shared with my blog readers and now share with you.

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I discovered this wonderful online reference called the Urban Dictionary. This essay is a recent blog entry celebrating this wonderfully kitschy resource. Get "chicked-up," ya'll.

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My lightly philosophical rant regarding the phenomenon of (ahem) "yawning" during the act of "sleeping," inpired by Dill Carver's piece, "Seminar." I just edited this, adding some context as to my secret code words, per the suggestions of my early reviewers.

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This is my entry in the online.When you last met up with Tangie Giacometti, she just spent one sweet afternoon with John Cusack. Life is sadly back to normal. Another chapter in the continuing adventures of Tangie Giacometti. I just want you to know that I, gem, have been married for twenty-one years. Undaunted by that handicap (or blessing, depending on how you look at it), I think I did enough research to pull off a contemporary tale of dating in the electronic age. The place where Tangie works, Let's Do Lunch, is a send-up of It's Just Lunch, a for-profit dating service whose franchises are in legal trouble for not delivering on their contracts.

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My humorous blog entry all about the young and adorable Adrian Lankford, a NextBigWriter author and frequent visitor to my blog.

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Danny Marx is abruptly torn from his unpromising life as an average office grunt, by a woman he's had a crush on for weeks before actually meeting her. Now facing a series of unexpected and confusing threats, he finds that the more he learns about Caprice, the less sense she makes to him. This book is a bit of an experiment for me on several levels, not the least of which is to find out whether I am capable of writing a short novel. NOTE TO POTENTIAL REVIEWERS: As with any novel, the point of entry should be chapter one. With Caprice in particular, if you jump in anywhere else, you will almost certainly miss the entire point of the story. That danger will increase exponentially as I add more chapters. The kind of feedback I need more than anything else is about plot and character development, so latecomer reviews, while well-intentioned, won't be of value. Please start from the beginning.

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My July 14 entry in a weekly flash contest. This week's word was reverse. 350 words max. Don't know if this works on any level.

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This is my entry in a July Writer's Digest competition. They have provided this prompt. "Seven days ago, _____________. Now, nobody will talk to me." Entries are to be 750 words or fewer and will be judged on inventiveness, creativity and where appropriate, humor. I'm always pushing deadlines. Must submit by July 10. Winning entry will run in the December issue. Your suggestions are welcome. Also, if you konw the publication, is this too risque? Should I tone it down? Last revised 2 p.m. on 7/9.

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A letter to America's Favorite Drive-In (also my June 19 blog entry). Now you'll see what a cynic I really am.

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It was a warm spring day; the type where you could drink beer and watch the hotties in their T-backs at the Sand Bar, while they oiled up their asses to fry their skin and play Russian roulette with cancer. Unfortunately Mitch had grabbed the shit end of the stick.

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If that wasn't bad enough, he'd headed back home, only to find his best friend Walter, that no good son of a bitch, running around the living room playing a game of naked pin the tail on the donkey with his wife, Sissy.

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NOTE: THIS IS ALL BEING GIVEN A MAJOR OVERHAUL WITH A VIEW TO FINISHING IT BY END OF SEPTEMBER 2008 - ALTHOUGH I WANT EACH CHAPTER TO STAND ALONE THERE IS A PLOT HAPPENING HERE SO IT WOULD HELP IF YOU STARTED FROM THE BEGINNING:

Five years on, he meets her again in the bar after a less than encouraging 'Speed-Dating' session.

Back then, a friend overheard her say that she simply couldn't carry on dating a guy who maintained that Al Gore's version of Let's Stay Together far outshone the later one by Tina Turner.

That was all back then. The stakes for him are a lot higher now and anyway, she seems to be really chilled. She says the last thing she needs right now is commitment, she values her own freedom too much.

She's perfect.

Isn't she?

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This is a continuation of "A Touch of Seduction", currently available on the tNBW Publication page. If you have not read that story, please do so before reading this, as it is necessary for context. I intended to do this as a short story, but it is clear that it will run well over 5,000 words, so I am posting it as a novel. It will be more like a novella, unless the characters do something even more unexpected than they have so far.

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What happens when a woman discovers she's a dog....

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This is my novel-in-progress about a woman, her dead best friend, and all the trouble he causes her. I hope you get a chuckle from it.

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This is a repackaging of the material I had already published to incorporate feedback and to allow me to get more detailed feedback on the parts. New material is included in the later chapters. This is a story about relationships, intrigue, and the interstellar trade in chocolate.

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