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Title |
Author |
Type |
Genre |
Reviews |
Credits |
Date |
 | Prodigal Mother | Taledreamer | Poetry | Poetry | 2 | 0.00 | Jan 7, 2009 |
Summary:This poem was written April 2003Chapters: |
 | UNDERNEATH THE WILLOW | flowing pencil | Poetry | Memoir | 10 | 0.52 | Jan 4, 2009 |
Summary:Memories of childhood past. Where peace but for a moment could be found. Any and all feedback is more than welcomed.
This is rough and needs work but hoping to learn if emotionally strong but not cutesy. Let me know your feelings. Chapters: |
 | Secrets Revealed (working title) | Susan Ethridge | Novel | Mystery and Crime | 2 | n/a | Jan 4, 2009 |
Summary:Detective Greg Garrison transfered to Green County Georgia from White County Georgia after the death of his partner and the woman he was in love with. Now he is on the scene of another murder and meets the daughter of the woman who was murdered.
The feeling he thought was dead forever and buried with Kate, swept over him. This beautiful woman with her head lying on his chest and so full of grief crying torrents of tears, at that very moment she brought life back into his heart and filling him with warmth he believed he would never feel again.
Could this be another chance at love? First, he must solve this and other murders that is taking place around Green County. A serial killer is at large.
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I am looking for how interesting this sounds, would you like to read more? Also,grammatical errors, I am great for those. Just an overall view, based on what you have read, how interesting you think this story is.
Chapters: |
 | Rewrite - frying tomatoes in a pan | Sara Basrai | Novel | Literary Fiction | 4 | n/a | Jan 4, 2009 |
Summary:Warning!!! Sorry, that doesn't sound sensitive! But, Please, please only read if you like descriptive literary fiction which has a good plot, but does not seek to rush!!!!!!!!!!!! You will not like it otherwise. It saves upset and frustration on my part...and on yours too. It's a story which investigates gender in modern society and political/philosophical ideas concerning capitalism and environmentalism. No judgement is placed, simply an exploration.
It's a story about a successful woman.Chapters: |
 | Handerchief Surrenders | Lonnie Hicks | Poetry | Erotica | 1 | 0.00 | Dec 28, 2008 |
Summary:Poetry, erotica in loveChapters: |
 | In Hiding | kiwi | Poetry | Other | 1 | 0.00 | Dec 16, 2008 |
Summary:Say what you will:
PS - I appreciate it all..Chapters: |
 | Cloak and Dagger Swagger (first edit) | Periscope | Novel | Historical Fiction | 2 | n/a | Dec 15, 2008 |
Summary:This story is based on historical events. The characters have been created to simulate what actually occurred.
I would like to know if the writing is convincing.
Chapters: |
 | RIVIERA SUNRISE | wheels71 | Novel | Literary Fiction | 3 | n/a | Dec 14, 2008 |
Summary:*NOTE* For those of you who have read or glanced at my two short stories--I Went To See My Man and I Our Last Number For Tonight Is.... those are both chapter segments from this story. I Went To See My Man was slightly altered (the character names were changed)....It’s now May 1970. Gianni Fabricante, a talented, young hippie musician, and Jimi Hendrix worshipper, is leaving for Europe (France) with his two best friends Jean de Villepan and Brent Alexis to form a rock n’ roll band and pursue pop music stardom. The problem? Gianni is the only one of the three who has any band experience, or knows what it takes to really rock n’ roll. Yet, Gianni is convinced he can rehearse his two hippie pals, Brent on second guitar, Jean on bass, into being a swinging rhythm section, backing his flashy performance style. This story swings to the rhythms of 60's rock and pop music, and the freedom flow of those people labeled as "hippies" and their nomadic search for life's truths and meaning that took place not only in America, but in Europe as well. Please feel free to review this story in the way you see fit, and all ideas and criticism will be greatly appreciated! Chapters: |
 | Stalking: A Memoir of Obsession | Adeline Scout | Novel | Mystery and Crime | 2 | n/a | Dec 10, 2008 |
Summary:Sheila’s looks, smarts, and privileged background have put her in a plum position at 32 with a career, a wide circle of friends, and a well-stamped passport. But when her ex-boyfriend replaces her with a woman he meets on myspace, Sheila changes into an obsessed being. She cyber-spies and physically stalks the new couple. Out of everyone’s control including her own, Sheila’s destructiveness is brought to an end only with the click of handcuffs. From prison, she must contend with her family’s anger and the realization her ex-boyfriend will not admit his role. With surprising humor and unexpected allegiances, Sheila finds her way out of the circumstances in which her obsession has placed her. It’s a surprisingly relatable tale about the painful correction of one’s perception of themselves, love, and freedom.
Chapters: |
 | Deliberation | biljana | Poetry | Romance | 2 | 0.00 | Dec 4, 2008 |
Summary:Love poem, set against a conversation 2 people are having about this girl. Some spirituality is involved. wrote this awhile back.Chapters: |
 | The Separation | Murph | Short Story | Literary Fiction | 8 | 3.12 | Nov 29, 2008 |
Summary: An adult child discovers his father wants a separation from his wife of forty years. The son is dismayed and confused, but his wife understands and is not surprised.
I tried to write a story about everyday people dealing with a common problem adding some humor and frustration. Please tell me if you think it works. I welcome all remarks and suggestions.
Chapters: |
 | Crescendo | kiwi | Short Story | Other | 5 | 0.53 | Nov 27, 2008 |
Summary:Summary: Woman involved in car accident - any critique gratefully received.Chapters: |
 | A Picture of Lori | jbrown527 | Short Story | Memoir | 7 | 0.78 | Nov 27, 2008 |
Summary:This is rough, written on the spot. It is entirely true, as well. I would appreciate feedback on the "feel", I want to see if it makes you feel like I do.Chapters: |
 | All of my kisses | Whalehead King | Short Story | Romance | 1 | 0.00 | Nov 24, 2008 |
Summary:A writer I respect has been trying his hand at describing the importance of a kiss. I recently got feedback about an older piece published here on the same topic. I thought I would try my hand again. I am not a poet, as the chunky paragraphs will show, but I always get lumped in with the poet class wherever I settle. It's prose but there's no plot. Make of it what you will. All criticism is aimably accepted.Chapters: |
 | The Our Father--in todays language for teenagers | Dur Shacho | Short Story | Editorial and Opinion | 1 | 1.92 | Nov 19, 2008 |
Summary:I have edited this piece to include some helpful comments from reviewers. This is solely my opinion. I do not pretend to be an expert in religions. I do however have some experience in teaching CCD and in raising seven children. My hope is that this work may cause reflection and discussion. Assuming one accepts God exists, then there can only be one.Chapters: |
 | A Samurai's suicide poem-last edit August 26, 2008-Thanks to all the reviewers who helped me try to perfect this. | Dur Shacho | Poetry | Religion and Spirituality | 1 | 0.83 | Nov 19, 2008 |
Summary:This suicide poem of a Samurai is an attempt to underscore the cultural differences between western culture and eastern culture. The west is largely Christian. In Japan Christians amount to less than 3%. The culture is largely agnostic--Buddhism and Shintoism are the primary 'religions' although they are more philosophies than religions.//Imagine not believing in a supreme being and contemplating the end of your life as an absolute ending, by your own hand?//This poem is the creation of the author's imagination and is not at all authentic. I'm not Japanese but I've lived in Japan for nineteen years over a thirty five year period from the mid fifties to the late eighties. I graduated from a Japanese grade school in 1964.//The Japanese have a deep sense of honor. They are particularly sensitive to anything that reflects negatively on themselves, their family or their company. Most suicides in Japan are over issues of honor.//Personally, I'll never forget receiving a hand delivered wedding invitation on Monday, only to have it have it retrieved the following Monday, because the father of the bride opposed the marriage, and executed his wife, son and daughter with a Samurai sword, and then took his own life. The groom was the President of a large Japanese distribution company.//This poem, and many other cultural differences and nuances, are what inspired me to write the novel Corporate Samurai. Chapters: |
 | The Girl With a Bow in Her Hair | Nathan B. Childs | Short Story | Flash Fiction | 7 | 0.29 | Nov 18, 2008 |
Summary:A love story from the '60s.Chapters: |
 | Giving up the Ghost | corra | Novel | Commercial Fiction | 14 | n/a | Nov 11, 2008 |
Summary:This is the story of a little boy who refused to give up on his father. In a journey of hope that sweeps across five wars, two continents, and seven generations, one man has 320 days to see his life through a child's eyes--and change history.Chapters: |
 | Flaming Flame # | janine | Poetry | Poetry | 4 | 0.38 | Nov 6, 2008 |
Summary:ok so....this is a flaming PICTO!....the flickering flame of a candle perhaps....or maybe a fickle flame that was too hot to handle?....beware cos one might burn your fingers whereas the other might give you heartburn if the memory lingers!! Chapters: |
 | "Little Mogadishu" - Abdi's story....and Ravi's too | Sara Basrai | Short Story | Commercial Fiction | 5 | 1.39 | Oct 29, 2008 |
Summary:This is a story about a teacher who learns to teach again, about a boy who writes a book, and another who tries to steal a car.....and it was heard at the last NUT conference.
I want and need this story to be good! Should this be a short story or a screen play? What do you think?Chapters: |
 | Carol and the Crocodile | Peter S. Dean | Short Story | Flash Fiction | 6 | 0.42 | Oct 26, 2008 |
Summary:A blind woman befriends a crocodile and is eaten alive.
Chapters: |
 | My leg-ache | Nasp Semeku | Poetry | Romance | 3 | 0.07 | Oct 24, 2008 |
Summary:My first attempt on Haiku about love,so please have mercy on my soul. Chapters: |
 | Dad...and dad | david_banky | Poetry | Poetry | 3 | 0.70 | Oct 21, 2008 |
Summary:I would really like reviewers to see if the haiku is ok enough as well as the use of words.Chapters: |
 | Painting The Summer (first edit) | payge turner | Novel | Commercial Fiction | 7 | n/a | Oct 20, 2008 |
Summary:This is my first edit so I still need all the advice you can give me. Do the prose flow as well as they can or is there still any excess wording? Is there anything you weren't clear about and that you'd like me to explain further? Are the characters well-drawn and believable, and does their dialogue sound natural? Give it to me straight and thank you so much for all the feedback you've given me so far. It's been invaluable. Chapters: |
 | Goodnight Draglen, Good Morning Dragoness | Nasp Semeku | Poetry | Fantasy | 4 | 1.03 | Oct 19, 2008 |
Summary:Summary:
The song singing by the dragon to his mate. It recalled the day he meet her as the wounded draglen, not yet a dragoness,and the starting the song on the night when She was fully recover and was about to leave him.
Feedback:
Like always, any comment on grammar,verb tense, etc would always be the most appreciate.Chapters: |
 | Veil | jessie_diamond | Novel | Science Fiction | 1 | n/a | Oct 10, 2008 |
Summary:
The novel is set in the 2060's, at the intersection of
three next-gen economies. Gamers have long-since taken their ten-figure
synthetic economy to Nassau to form the self-governing Multiplayer Nation. A
film star has used her pop-culture capital to turn the California archipelago
into Cata-Hemi, a confrontationalist Red Cross with billion-dollar pockets and
no apologies for shooting. Genetics research has split from the tightly
chaperoned mainstream into high-profile dissident labs--one merging
computational biology with questionably ethical parenting to produce Hannah: the
story's violently hyper-abled protagonist.
It's
she who opens the text, evading a bomb by breaking into a bank vault, and her
consequent trauma threatens to spin the novel into a grainy dystopia: a network
of increasingly provincial communities, aggressively protecting their interests,
with wealth enough to wreck their judgment. Hannah, though, becomes a bridge
figure. Girlfriend to the film star, daughter and experiment of the
geneticists, art object to M Nation gamers, fetished pin-up of the US Army--she
drives the novel's arc upward. Power accumulates in her through attraction, as
she designs and repeatedly steps into theatrical tableaus of rising violence,
getting hit by a list of generally fatal artilleries, but doing so prettily, and
liking it.
She also must resolve her inner
life, a intricate process that requires cooperative intelligence, making
Veil a novel of ideas--one not satisfied with the model of Good Will
Hunting, a text offering a prodigy who has little smart to say. In
Veil, articulate expression is the base of characters' relationships, and
when they do take on (or take down) the Golden Rule, evangelic rationalism, the
Declaration of Independence, or enlightenment humanism, they do so clearly, or
not at all--because smart ideas worded obscurely is a sign of selfish
thinking.
It's also a novel with neat
sentences. There's a familiar complaint that readers' aesthetics have been
clipped to sound-bites, making ideas tough to sell, and the novel behind the
times. But texts can thrill both immediately and accumulatively if sentences
are inclined toward money lines and a story is built upon
them.
As for feedback, I'm trying to build the
text on thrilling lines--whether that thrill be philosophic, stylistic, ironic,
alliterative, emotional, descriptive . . . any of the thousand thrills a
sentence can provide. Typically, you'll get *one* of these "money lines" per
chapter, if that; for this text, the goal is three or four per
paragraph.
When you swing that often for the
fence, you're bound to whiff. You'll see I'm trying for something special
nearly every sentence, and I could use definite help identifying the hits from
the misses.
I'd also love commentary on the
general level. What do you feel needs more development? Are sections needing
reorganization or deletion? I've written mostly in isolation, so this would be
the first chance for the text to have (critical) readers.
Thanks in
advance!
Jessie
Chapters: |
 | The Disappearing Act | claire_celeste | Poetry | Romance | 4 | 0.57 | Sep 30, 2008 |
Summary:This is a Typical English Sonnet. I write it for the challenge. Just to inform you of the barriers required. There is 10 syllables in each line. The first 8 lines have a problem, the last 6 solve it. The Ryhme Pattern is ABABCDCDEFEFGG. I hope you enjoy it and any feedback is appreciated!Chapters: |
 | The End Is Near | Murph | Short Story | Commercial Fiction | 5 | 0.77 | Sep 30, 2008 |
Summary:A man is dying of cancer and he is trying to find a home for his dog.
I would welcome all reviews, especially grammar and plot.
Chapters: |
 | Memoirs of an Empty Shell | claire_celeste | Short Story | Literary Fiction | 7 | 3.02 | Sep 30, 2008 |
Summary:It has been a while since I have written here, I just re-enstated my membership, and I have a story to share. Its a Fictional Memoir of a persons love story. I would love to get feedback on my delivery of it, and what you think can be done to improve it. Thank you.Chapters: |
 | Enveloped | Ethereal Angel | Poetry | Erotica | 5 | 0.04 | Sep 30, 2008 |
Summary:Some things lead to others. A friend sent a long email and photos of himself kiteboarding. I meant to write a haiku about the pictures, the water, the colors, how I imagined it felt to be right there-- and this intercepted those thoughts. Strange.Chapters: |
 | Unseen | flowing pencil | Poetry | Poetry | 15 | 0.05 | Sep 29, 2008 |
Summary:First attempt at a form of poetry I truly know nothing about. This is for a writer who prodded me enough to try. Haiku
for J Michael Vernon..
Chapters: |
 | What Scotland Taught Me | lemonlye | Novel | Young Adult | 4 | n/a | Sep 28, 2008 |
Summary:This is the revised, new version of THE YANK GIRL'S GUIDE TO CHEATING ABROAD. It may take a while to post, as I'm rewriting practically the whole thing. All readers and feedback are welcome, whether you read the old version or not. Thanks!Chapters: |
 | For love of the land from the rainforest. | Nasp Semeku | Short Story | Fantasy | 2 | 0.00 | Sep 25, 2008 |
Summary:The short children story I started since the day I wrote 'The polar bear and the missing northern lights', and finished it today. It's life story according to one who appreicated the rainforest the most. Chapters: |
 | Tom's Little Girl | Sherman Law | Short Story | Flash Fiction | 3 | 0.99 | Sep 24, 2008 |
Summary:Tom had to leave his Goddaughter that he had helped raise for five years. A year and a half later, as he returns to see her, he worries that she won't remember how close they had been. Chapters: |
 | The Polar bear and the missing Northern lights (Revised). | Nasp Semeku | Short Story | Fantasy | 1 | 0.72 | Sep 23, 2008 |
Summary:A Children story.The Polar Bear searching for The Northern lights when it went missing from the arctic. This is the first revision and I would like people to look at tense, grammatical error, and the meaning of this story, for I would like to know whelther if it carried my message to a younger audiences or not. Chapters: |
 | Taming the Cougar: Chapter 1 | Jayce Cole | Novel | Humor | 1 | n/a | Sep 22, 2008 |
Summary:The humorous story of an attractive forty-something woman, labeled by some in society as a "cougar," trying to succeed as the public relations manager to a sex-crazed Mayor in the world of Philadelphia's city politics. The wild antics of her dates, co-workers, and especially the mayor, add up as she tries to keep the mayor out of trouble and successfully land her dream job as a White House public relations manager. Things really get out of control when a religious foreign diplomat comes to town, accompanied by his beautiful twenty-two year old "party down" daughter. Chapters: |
 | GONE DEAD TRAIN | wheels71 | Novel | Thrillers | 3 | n/a | Sep 22, 2008 |
Summary:"Those who deny such history are doomed to repeat it...." A drama based on a true story and set in 1920's South Carolina over the course of thirty hours--GONE DEAD TRAIN is the story of a poor sharecropper Mose Kettering, his wife Anna Mae, and their seven children. When Mose, along with his wife, commence to rise at the crack of dawn to go about their daily chores of working the land of plantation owner Sam Payton and caring for their youngsters, little does the couple know what terrible fate lies in store for them and their young family.
Just hours later, when Mose's nine-year-old son Hank heads for the town of Cartersville to carry-out an errand for his father, he is confronted and abused by, none other than, Ross Maddox self-appointed head of the area's White Citizen's Posse. Soon afterwards, Maddox pays Mose a visit and threatens the Kettering youngster with "Jim Crow" style punishment. Being the loving, protective father that he is, Mose refuses to bow down to any thug posing a danger to members of his family. An argument ensues.
Accusing Mose of committing the worst possibly insult to a "southern white man"--Maddox tells Kettering that he and his kinfolk are living their last breathing hours. Yet, Mose Kettering stands defiant. He'll defend his family until his heart's final palpitation. However, there is one white man in all of Aiken County who'll come to Mose's rescue. Clay Payton, son of Sam Payton, confronts a Cartersville lynch mob baying for Mose's blood--but will it be enough to save Mose and his young family from the torch of racial hatred?
A story that starts out on a peaceful summer morning and afternoon only to evolve into a full-blown, page turning thriller, Gone Dead Train is a tale full of human warmth and love--a realistic depiction of life in the Deep South United States of the 1920's. And I must say, the reviews it has received have been top-notch! For the dialogue of this story I use a light version of the period's dialect from this region of the U.S. for authenticity's sake. Please feel free to criticise this tale as you see fit, I only ask that, in the end, you analyse and comment from a writer's perspective with respect and dignity. Chapters: |
 | Shadow Fall: A Tragedy in Five Parts (Part 3 of 5) | knighthawk | Short Story | Fantasy | 2 | 2.13 | Sep 11, 2008 |
Summary:Kiel Thrice-Loved reconciles with his mother, but not with those who used her for their own fell designs . . .
Chapters: |
 | Salt Angel | ladyn | Novel | Fantasy | 5 | n/a | Sep 10, 2008 |
Summary:Tiamat Ashtad, or Tash as she is called, is thrown into the middle of a high profile kidnapping when the suspect targets her. She's got to reach inside and learn who she really is to rescue the children and save herself.
I'm looking for feedback on everything. Don't worry about being gentle I've got thick skin. I do however ask that you respect myself and my characters. I'm here to learn and grow. :)Chapters: |
 | Shadow Fall: A Tragedy in Five Parts (Part 2 of 5) | knighthawk | Short Story | Fantasy | 6 | 1.66 | Sep 10, 2008 |
Summary:Kiel Thrice-Loved chooses to spring a trap set for him in hopes of solving the mystery of his mother's resurrection . . .Chapters: |
 | Just Sex, Okay? | TirzahLaughs | Short Story | Flash Fiction | 8 | 0.38 | Sep 7, 2008 |
Summary:Does this stand on its own? Ending abrupt? A girl leaves a boy after a wild night together.
Chapters: |
 | Bad Habit (1st revision) | Ethereal Angel | Poetry | Poetry | 2 | 2.27 | Aug 26, 2008 |
Summary:I said I'd take a break and just review, but I couldn't help it. I was experimenting, playing around with this form. It's that common rut that a person in love (lust?) falls into-- everyone but you can see what a loser your lover is, and can't figure why you don't leave the jerk already. A little addiction, perhaps? I was having a conversation with a friend who was telling me about his latest crush, and I just got to thinking about all the people, and all the relationship woes of unevenly matched pairs.
**26 Aug 08:I'm fiercely holding on to the repetitions, because I believe they are essential to the slightly crazed, deeply addicted feel. What I missed though, in the original version, was the breaks between the stanzas. Pehaps this may alleviate (some of) that rushing, confusing, dizzying look of the poem. If not, then it's not meant to be a pantoum-- I'll pare it down.Chapters: |
 | Cuz He Loves Me - A Redneck Poem Of Love | Sideman | Poetry | Humor | 14 | 0.56 | Aug 21, 2008 |
Summary:CAUTION: YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ THIS IMMEDIATELY PRIOR TO DINNER, OR LUNCH, OR...
Just a silly little thing that crossed my mind. After reading this, you'll probably wonder if I even have a mind! It's totally tasteless and has no redeeming qualities what so ever. But, I follow my muse...she insists!
Feedback? Well, if you're desperate for credits!Chapters: |
 | Around the World & 80 Conversations (Revised) | Ann Elle Altman | Novel | Literary Fiction | 7 | n/a | Aug 20, 2008 |
Summary:Novel written like a transcript...1/4 of the way through chapter one, it will become easier to read...
Two years ago, twenty-nine year old Jayne, a reclusive writer and single mom, suffered a tragedy. After two years and many therapy sessions later, she decides to move to London to continue her writing there. And, in the process move on with her life.
By the way, this book will not be in chapters it will be by conversation. Each conversation is its own chapter so on this site, each chapter might have more than one conversation.Chapters: |
 | naive | TirzahLaughs | Poetry | Poetry | 9 | 0.48 | Aug 19, 2008 |
Summary:This is a different poetic style for me. Does it work for you?Chapters: |
 | A woman Samurai's love song--edited February 10, 2008 | Dur Shacho | Poetry | Poetry | 0 | 0.65 | Aug 17, 2008 |
Summary:This work is from the novel, Corporate Samurai "love begets hate, trust begets betrayal, lust leads to death". It attempts to convey the emotions and thoughts, in song form, of a woman Samurai to the one true love of her life--who is also a Samurai.
This song is written at a time when she suspects their relationship will not be sustainable, as her lover comes from a much inferior heritage than her own--something her family will not accept. Chapters: |
 | A Gypsy Among Gypsies | Nathan B. Childs | Novel | Memoir | 5 | n/a | Aug 16, 2008 |
Summary:This is a completed story. A Gypsy Among Gypsies is the story of my nomadic adolescence, living by my wits in the age of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. While American youth were growing their hair, experimenting with psychotropic drugs and protesting the Vietnam War, I was running for my life to Alaska, hoping to outdistance my troubled past and vanquish the demons in my head. I knew my past was dark, but I did not know it all. The storyline is a progressive quest for adventure, self-discovery, and enlightenment with more twists and turns than a Texas sidewinder: from a six-month cruise in the Caribbean to a county jail in California; from a cabin in the Sierra Nevada to a remote river camp in the Trinity Mountains; from the Aleutian Islands to Hawaii. Wrapped in a riddle with psychological and paranormal overtones, the story embodies the adolescent spirit of romance, rebellion and idealism, and celebrates the contention that given even less than half a chance, life not only endures...it prevails. Chapters: |
 | Courtney | Sherman Law | Poetry | Poetry | 5 | 1.33 | Aug 14, 2008 |
Summary:As my oldest God Daughter (that I helped raise, I'm the only father figure she's had) prepares to go to Middle School, I am feeling nervous. So I wrote this for her. Chapters: |
 | Love For Writing Or Vice Versa | vern | Short Story | Memoir | 7 | 1.52 | Jul 29, 2008 |
Summary:This is my entry for the My Writing Life contest. Parts have been borrowed from my memoir, Root Hog or Die. Any suggestions for improvement will be appreciated. Thanks.Chapters: |
 | Fractured Dreams | chaplainswife | Poetry | Poetry | 7 | 0.81 | Jul 29, 2008 |
Summary:Images of a marriageChapters: |
 | The Language of Thunder | michelle willms | Novel | Young Adult | 8 | n/a | Jul 25, 2008 |
Summary:Sam Tabor is a bright child with a promising future, but when her alcoholic mother gets a new boyfriend, her world starts to fall apart piece by piece. Sam hits the streets and stumbles into the Mercury Diner, where she’s told by a kind waitress to seek out a man by the name of Bruno, who can be found in the Jungle. After years in the Jungle, Bruno’s business partner calls in a debt. Sam’s world crumbles again, but a man with multiple identities intercedes on her behalf, believing the young girl will be safeguarded in a maximum security prison. Out of jail, Sam is offered a safe place to live, but is she really freed from her past and danger? Chapters: |
 | Why God? Edited July 20, 2008 | Dur Shacho | Poetry | Religion and Spirituality | 3 | 1.14 | Jul 21, 2008 |
Summary:This work is an attempt to explore the emotions and questions that arise from human tragedy. It raises the questions, but not the answers. While the questions raised are specific to a situation, similar questions are eventually asked by all. //God is defined in the broadest sense--and I hope it causes thoughtful introspection only. There is also a bit of "Eastern Philosophy" in this, as we are all affected by our experiences--and I spent 19 years in Japan and four of my seven children were born there.// A thought to consider; mustn't God loves us all?(regardless of our specific religion, or lack thereof). This is the first in a the first in a series of poems designed to provoke thought. Chapters: |
 | The RIng | Mochacaremel | Poetry | Poetry | 5 | 0.60 | Jul 15, 2008 |
Summary:Just want to know if it's any good. I'm new here still.. looking for "first reaction" feedbackChapters: |
 | The Fisherman | Sapphire_Paws_71 | Short Story | Romance | 3 | 0.12 | Jul 14, 2008 |
Summary:This is a revised version of a short short story that I wrote back in high school. It plays on the word fisherman.Chapters: |
 | I Am Not Yours | Mochacaremel | Poetry | Poetry | 9 | 1.66 | Jul 13, 2008 |
Summary:I am looking for feedback that is honest and constructive if possible.
The poem came as an outlet to a frustrating situationChapters: |
 | 99% Certain | alimckay | Short Story | Literary Fiction | 6 | 0.71 | Jun 29, 2008 |
Summary:This is a story about an unusual test of "true love". This version reads much clearer - I hope. Does it need deepening? Some backstory? Don't hold back if you have suggestions; fire away. cheers. AliChapters: |
 | Monster Girl | Ethereal Angel | Poetry | Poetry | 8 | 0.30 | Jun 26, 2008 |
Summary:Become what you detest most (meant in humour. Maybe).Chapters: |
 | It Beckons No Call | michelle willms | Poetry | Poetry | 3 | 0.92 | Jun 23, 2008 |
Summary:This piece looks at the two-sided coins of sorrow, beauty and love; one side of the coin, blessing, the other side, burden. Chapters: |
 | My Destiny | Nathan B. Childs | Poetry | Memoir | 7 | 0.94 | Jun 16, 2008 |
Summary:There came a specific moment when I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Chapters: |
 | Reflections Seeing the writer within my soul and deciding to let her speak. | flowing pencil | Short Story | Memoir | 12 | 0.45 | Jun 16, 2008 |
Summary:My journey into the world of writing how one person inspired and lit the fire but also snuffed the flame. Finding my voice
Listening harder, watching closer, feeling textures emotionally reaching hope thanksgiving for help on site.
Comparing work and seeing if improving. Open and honest opinions as am taking this seriously and honestly due to a reviewer and his courage to point out the flaws. Chapters: |
 | Being in Boston | Whalehead King | Short Story | Poetry | 4 | 0.24 | Jun 14, 2008 |
Summary:Struck by a bout of autobiography. Is there a market for this sappy stuff? If so, please give directions. Thanks.Chapters: |
 | Liberating Love | aldersmith | Short Story | Memoir | 9 | 0.24 | Jun 4, 2008 |
Summary:Here is my entry to This I believe for Ellie's challenge. I am looking for any feedback especially about the title (stumped on this one) and I'm not quite sure about the adage at the end. Is that how it goes?Chapters: |
 | Hunz and Little Robo | Nasp Semeku | Short Story | Fantasy | 3 | 0.59 | Jun 1, 2008 |
Summary:Summary:
When his puppy died at the hand of 'Death', Hunz leaves his home in search of someone who could mend his wounded heart.
A/N:
This is my rough revision thus far.The story was intended for young adult and 15+ audience.
I'm still looking for one to two more reviews on story and grammar before I can make another revision.
Thank you for your help. I'm really appreciate it. Chapters: |
 | INHALE | TirzahLaughs | Novel | Romance | 16 | n/a | May 30, 2008 |
Summary:My first novel attempt. This is about a woman transformed into a werewolf against her will. Tess has to find her way in a world where none of the rules are clear to her. She makes mistkes that risk both her and her younger sister's life. One of her mistakes takes the form of a rogue werewolf who she accidently entices into a mating dance. Plus, those that transformed her seek her for capture and study. She'll have to learn to embrace her animal or be destroyed by it. At this point, I just want to know if the story is compelling. Do the characters work? Do you want to read more?Chapters: |
 | Why God Doesn't Love You | TirzahLaughs | Poetry | Poetry | 9 | 0.28 | May 26, 2008 |
Summary:Is this generic? I am exploring religion and trying to figure out what I think. This is one of the darker ones. Chapters: |
 | Unexpected Oranges | TirzahLaughs | Poetry | Poetry | 6 | 0.24 | May 23, 2008 |
Summary:Is the verb tense right? This is about when something happens that you don't expect that changes everything and it is so much better because it is unexpected.Chapters: |
 | Shattered | Tracy | Novel | Other | 5 | n/a | May 21, 2008 |
Summary:Hi there and thanks for reading my story. This is my first post so...deep breathe, here I go.
I started this a couple of years ago and recently have resurrected it. It starts in a regression and I am not sure that is working out. It may be a bit confusing. But you will read for yourself. It is a story of a young couple facing a loss and how they handled it. It is incomplete and was started as a short story but is turning in to a novel. This is chapter 1. I welcome all well intentioned advice. Thanks!Chapters: |
 | The Yank Girl's Guide To Cheating Abroad | lemonlye | Novel | Young Adult | 8 | n/a | May 15, 2008 |
Summary:NOTE: THIS IS AN OLD DRAFT NOW; I'm revising it as WHAT SCOTLAND TAUGHT ME. But you can still read it if you really want...
19-year-old Eva has a boyfriend back home in Oregon, but what American girl can resist a Scottish accent? Romancing an Edinburgh barkeep while working abroad, she knows she's taking risks. What she doesn't expect is the third guy entering the picture: a sarcastic fellow traveler who discovers her secret and becomes her unlikely confidante. Meanwhile her best friend scares herself witless ghost-hunting in Edinburgh's medieval streets, and Eva's boyfriend gets it into his head to come visit without advance warning. It will be a miracle if Eva can leave Scotland with all her relationships, and her sanity, intact.
Types of feedback? Any! I'm still tinkering with this story, but hope to get it posted this year and shape it into the type of Young Adult novel that adults enjoy too.
Chapters: |
 | Calligraphy | TirzahLaughs | Poetry | Poetry | 6 | 0.30 | May 10, 2008 |
Summary:A poem of someone who tries to show their love in in hidden gestures.Chapters: |
 | The Day Angels Came | Romy Bernard | Short Story | Religion and Spirituality | 7 | 1.42 | May 9, 2008 |
Summary:This is a true story of one of my many experiences of God's Angels. This is about an 8week old little baby girl I was caring for who died of SIDS in my care. I was with her when the Angels came to take her home.
On feedback: I have many stories like this one or similar in nature, I would like to compile them, please help me with my descriptiveness or lack of, etc., any help is greatly appreciated. this is a VERY rough draft.Chapters: |
 | Tin Relationships | TirzahLaughs | Poetry | Poetry | 5 | 0.38 | May 5, 2008 |
Summary:Stanza three--is the last line workable? Is it too much alliteration? This is a play on the idea of the Tinman.Chapters: |
 | The Gift | flowing pencil | Poetry | Poetry | 18 | 0.45 | May 5, 2008 |
Summary:Something wrote forty years ago and tucked in a bible. It is crude as just wanted to release pain and disappointment once again at unreturned love.
I am not going to edit it or change it's form as this was who I was then and to change it would lose something of me!Chapters: |
 | Mona Lisa Smiling | flowing pencil | Poetry | Poetry | 12 | 0.67 | Apr 28, 2008 |
Summary:
This is just an observation of a picture of my son,his wife and my grandson.
Her gaze is hypnotic and you just want to know what she is thinking. Just want feedback on how it reads, is it clear, am I doing any better with punctuation!!!Chapters: |
 | Root Hog or Die (Newly revised) | vern | Novel | Commercial Fiction | 4 | n/a | Apr 26, 2008 |
Summary:Revised: All the chapters have been revised. The novel is posted in its entirety so you may read at your leisure. There has been some shuffling so the previous reviews may not always match up with the chapter that it is attached to (likewise with the chapter number in the text). I have eleminated the prologue up front, reduced/deleted substantial segments and excess wordage throughout, and simplified speaker modifiers throughout. I have tried to cull a lot of the "was" without diluting the voice of the narrator (Does it work?). I hope this final go through will make it ready to publish, so any comments whatsoever will be appreciated - punctuation, character, dialgoue, flow, ANYTHING you think would improve the readability. This novel is set within an orphanage in North Carolina during the mid fifties and sixties. Though it is basically true, the characters are composite and the time lines may be occasionally altered with some literary license thrown into the mix - so, I have changed the genre from memoir to commercial fiction this time around to perhaps attract more reviewers. Opinions? Thanks for your help and advice. Chapters: |
 | Hollow Bedfellow | Whalehead King | Poetry | Poetry | 9 | 0.71 | Apr 19, 2008 |
Summary:Apologies to an ethereal angel. I couldn't help myself.Chapters: |
 | The Necklace | N.C. Woodland | Short Story | Literary Fiction | 4 | 1.75 | Apr 14, 2008 |
Summary:This is a story about a couple searching for the love that once existed in their marriage. They travel to India in hopes of rekindling something.Chapters: |
 | Time In The Night | Eben Wilson | Poetry | Poetry | 3 | 0.29 | Apr 14, 2008 |
Summary:A poem of wondering...about one's self.Chapters: |
 | The Thracian Connection | emma rooney | Novel | Historical Fiction | 8 | n/a | Apr 7, 2008 |
Summary:my story begins in thracia 44AD during the thracian/roman wars. it describes early thracian life focusing om the thracian leader Hermious and his family.
Future chapters will make a connection with the present day via a school teacher called Olivia. it follows her on a journey of discovery to bulgaria were she understands the meaning behind the gold bracelet she wears. she falls in love with a bulgarian archeologist and together they discover both her past and her possible future.Chapters: |
 | Spring Passion | m_e_s | Poetry | Poetry | 2 | 0.00 | Mar 30, 2008 |
Summary:Just a little something for spring...Chapters: |
 | Love Language | touch1stone | Poetry | Romance | 6 | 0.22 | Mar 29, 2008 |
Summary:Words and intimacy...what a combination Chapters: |
 | While She Sleeps | touch1stone | Poetry | Romance | 9 | 0.69 | Mar 22, 2008 |
Summary:Just thinkin' bout my baby one night. Chapters: |
 | A Love Supreme | touch1stone | Poetry | Religion and Spirituality | 6 | 0.24 | Mar 19, 2008 |
Summary:I was listening to John Coltrane's immortal disc "A Love Supreme", and decided to add a poetic twist. During the time of this record, Coltrane was going through a spiritual awakening...this is my take on it. Chapters: |
 | The Fraternity Pin | Marlinspike | Short Story | Literary Fiction | 5 | 1.02 | Mar 17, 2008 |
Summary:The daughter of an old, wealthy family, Estelle, is forced by them to marry a man of her social standing, but not before the man she really loves has given her his fraternity pin (in 1908). Years later after her death, Estelle's daughter Diana finds the pin and its owner's letters. She makes contact with the daughter of the pin's donor, and they become friends, both realising that although their respective parents had long marriages, they were both unhappy. The pin, after three generations, winds up with the grandson of the man who first gave it.Chapters: |
 | The Truly Outlandish Chronicles of the Marine Corps Combat Manual of Kama Sutra Cowboy Love | Buck Zephyr | Novel | Humor | 4 | n/a | Mar 16, 2008 |
Summary:Buck Zephyr adventures. Buck is a Marine who lost his leg in Afghanistan. He is crude, manly and loves himself. The story is about how he falls in love and changes. The beginning has to be crude to see the change. Chapters: |
 | A Note From Raven | flowing pencil | Poetry | Other | 12 | 2.50 | Mar 15, 2008 |
Summary:This is just a loving message to a hurting heart. It can be a message to many who too have experience this heartache.
I have taken the liberty to grow quiet and try to put myself in the beautiful spirit of the one called Raven. It is a responsibility I don't take lightly but if I go deep enough, try to change places and hear the messages is painful yet beautiful as in Cool Breeze Blowing. The remaining partner is this love story
said it was exacting like hearing from his beloved.Chapters: |
 | When will the blues leave? | touch1stone | Poetry | Poetry | 6 | 0.31 | Mar 15, 2008 |
Summary:Had some leftovers from another piece and decided to put them to good use. Chapters: |
 | Unhappy ever After | Marie Winder | Short Story | Humor | 5 | 0.51 | Mar 10, 2008 |
Summary:A Light hearted 2008 look at a traumatic period in the seventy's. Chapters: |
 | Big Mom | flowing pencil | Short Story | Memoir | 10 | 0.71 | Mar 4, 2008 |
Summary:This is a work about the person who loved me the most as a child.. who taught me the most and provided a safe haven where I could be a child.
It is full of small simplistic acts that made me whole.Chapters: |
 | Poemlove | touch1stone | Poetry | Erotica | 8 | 0.67 | Mar 3, 2008 |
Summary:Making love with words...Chapters: |
 | Cool Breeze Blowing | flowing pencil | Poetry | Romance | 21 | 1.76 | Mar 2, 2008 |
Summary:Once again i am not sure where to put this. it is a love story..it is the truth
A true love story that we all would hope to experience. I know both parties
and dearly loved them both. They taught me what love should be and I have never experienced.
We lost one of my heroes to ALS not so long ago. I wrote this as a tribute to this beautiful man. I tried to climb into his soul and tell him what he wanted
to say to those he left behind. especially his partner. I only pray I did him juctice.Chapters: |
 | Stolen Daydream | subversive_beauty | Short Story | Erotica | 7 | 0.10 | Feb 27, 2008 |
Summary:I don't know really... playing with thoughts and words Chapters: |
 | In Our Kiss | Ethereal Angel | Poetry | Poetry | 7 | 0.48 | Feb 24, 2008 |
Summary:Can I describe it in deeper strokes? Let me know if this is too bland, too broad.Chapters: |
 | The Ghost Downstairs | lemonlye | Novel | Literary Fiction | 7 | n/a | Feb 12, 2008 |
Summary:When Lina, a thirty-two-year-old nurse, takes a live-in job in a Seattle retirement home, her life acquires two disturbing twists: she learns that ghosts have haunted the old house since a manslaughter-suicide in the 1930s; and she finds herself falling for her mysterious twenty-something coworker Ren, who seems to know more about the strange house than he is telling.
NOTE: The Wild Rose Press has offered me a contract for this novel, so I'm editing it under their guidance now. It should be out in ebook and paperback format within the year. (See my website, www.mollyringle.com, for the cover design they've provided.) Thanks a million to everyone who helped me shape it up! Those who haven't read it yet still can, as long as I keep it here.Chapters: |
 | A Snapshot | Ethereal Angel | Poetry | Poetry | 5 | 0.11 | Feb 11, 2008 |
Summary:Remembering a happy moment in the past.Chapters: |
 | What is Love? | janine | Poetry | Poetry | 4 | 0.82 | Feb 8, 2008 |
Summary:no....not a PICTO!!! just an ordinary poem on a highly original subject that no one has ever thought to write about before! ha!Chapters: |
 | Thirty Pieces | Ethereal Angel | Poetry | Poetry | 6 | 0.66 | Feb 6, 2008 |
Summary:When the agony of heartbreak festers and just won't go away. Please let me know if you see the lines broken up differently. Thank you.Chapters: |
 | The Comeback (*Probably* Final Edit: 2/1) | Voodoo_Magic | Poetry | Poetry | 4 | 2.76 | Feb 1, 2008 |
Summary:A boxer makes his comeback to the ring. A man makes his comeback to his life.
EDIT 2/1: As noted, this is probably the final edit of this. I'm actually thinking of making this into a novella or even a novel, and I'm curious as to what you all think.
I made some changes, made the voice a little more consistent (I think) and I added in a few different phrases that may be more metaphorical, and I'm curious if they work. Also, I changed the ending a bit, and I'm also interested in seeing if that works too.
So yeah, any more feedback is great.Chapters: |
 | Unanswerable questions explored-edited Jan. 26, 2008 | Dur Shacho | Poetry | Religion and Spirituality | 1 | 1.39 | Jan 27, 2008 |
Summary:This piece is only an attempt to explore some of the continuing, unanswerable questions that face mankind. The stated answers are only intended to cause the reader to think. Obviously these questions have faced mankind since conscience thought became possible. Chapters: |
 | CHAUCEY | Justi Moody | Novel | Historical Fiction | 9 | n/a | Jan 20, 2008 |
Summary:This is my first attempt at a novel and I am certainly open to any criticism. The novel begins in January 1924 a little less than 60 years after the Civil war and five years before the Great Depression. The main character is getting married today. She describes her home, her life to this date in some of her mannerisms and dialog because she is expecting to take on a totally new life after the wedding vows. She breaks Southern Tradition is sort of a feminist. There is an element of super natural in each chapter. It is so subtle until it may not be apparent until much later in the book. Chapters: |
 | Only the truth shall be told | lattewith1 | Short Story | Romance | 5 | 0.14 | Dec 25, 2007 |
Summary:The truth shall only be written in these pages, for my heart cannot utter injustice. Chapters: |
 | Take me on again | subversive_beauty | Poetry | Erotica | 7 | 0.26 | Oct 28, 2007 |
Summary:Self explanatoryChapters: |
 | Godspeed (My Friend) | Voodoo_Magic | Poetry | Poetry | 7 | 1.38 | Oct 27, 2007 |
Summary:My next-door neighbors' dog died recently, and while she wasn't MY dog, per se, I spent a lot of time with her and loved her very much. I wrote this piece for her.Chapters: |
 | Vanished | L.A.THunder | Novel | Thrillers | 7 | n/a | Oct 27, 2007 |
Summary:In all its beauty lies magic, or is it something more sinister than darkness? Is it evil?
When a strange stone, which was buried 137 years ago in Washington, Missouri, surfaces in Jason Hollister’s hands, everything changes.
McKenzie Topelo Jason’s friend from childhood vanishes, and a strange imposture suddenly appears out of nowhere claiming to be her, but Jason isn’t fooled, he knows the stone is responsible and he’s determined to find a way to become a prisoner of the same stone, to save McKenzie and bring her home.
This is the begining of another book. All comments are welcomed. Thanks, L.A.Thunder :)
Chapters: |
 | The Blue Ukulele | Zelia | Novel | Literary Fiction | 6 | n/a | Oct 23, 2007 |
Summary:This is my first serious attempt at a novel. The theme is roughly about how art can save your life. Since it will be ever evolving, I can't sum it up entirely, but the main character is a man, and it chronicles his life, as he watches a devastation happen to his artist mother, through the joys and sorrows of marriage and fatherhood, and so much more set from the 60's to present time.Chapters: |
 | DON'T BLINK | L.A.THunder | Novel | Thrillers | 5 | n/a | Oct 3, 2007 |
Summary:When three childhood friends grow up together, in Clearwater Florida, they realize they share more then being best of friends. They share a serial killer whose on the lose. When they find out their the next victims on his list, there friendship teaches them the meaning of life, and what it means to fight to stay alive, not only for themselves, but for each other.
For Jennifer, Gail and Liz, life has always been fun. The three of them have always done what they wanted, without giving much thought to anything else. Being so much alike, yet different, the three of them shared everything, from growing pains, to broken hearts, graduation, to college and finally their own independence.
Now as the serial killer closes in, he leaves clues behind, for the three of them, and suddenly they find themselves at odds with one another, pointing their finger at anyone and everyone, including the three new men in their life.
When they’re forced to face the demons from their past, they learn to trust one another all over again, as it becomes evident that their only hope of survival is to stick together and keep their eyes open, and Don’t Blink.
Chapters: |
 | Kellie's Wild Thing |