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I‘d already experienced menopause, watched wrinkles become the mainstay of my facial features, and wondered if I’d ever have sex with a man that didn’t need a little blue pill. Let me say, I have always believed in vampires, and really wanted to be one. . . . That is until the incident in the public restroom with the innocent looking little cherub from hell, and my becoming the real thing. Now with a family of very vane woman, guess how that went over. An undead domino effect followed. I'm going for a comedy, so for all of you serious traditional vampire folks this is definitely not the Anne Rice, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Blade angle. And I'm here for your help, so any comments or corrections will be greatly appreciated.

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Dark Lady Rising is an exploration of the notion of good and evil - from the perspective of Kellara, an assassin of great renown. She and her lover Lord Zarin are out to rule the world. But the gods may have other plans for them. All feedback is appreciated. In particular, the characters, plot hooks and the level of interest generated from chapter to chapter.

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This is a story about a girl who finds herself in a lost world of vampires and witches. I'm looking for any kind of feedback to help make my story stronger. Any grammatical errors, sentences that don't make sense, anything I can expand on, etc...

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Kiel Thrice-Loved faces tragedy and pain . . . In this world "Magic" is referred to using variations of "Harmony" and "Loves" are Elemental "Magic." This is not a stand-alone short story. This is part 2 of a long short story or "novelette."

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This is a poem I wrote a long time ago, planned to be included in one of my fantasy novels as a phrophesy/song. I've kept the whole thing in a simple, perfectly rhyming form. Any and all feedback is welcome. -Ary

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Basic summary: There have been three people murdered in New York City, all of whom have no physical injuries or wounds, yet cause of death is blood loss. Serena Weller, a current college student, is all too familiar with these types of deaths and knows that she needs to take steps to find the vampire(s) behind it and stop them. Feedback: I'm specifically looking for feedback on my characters and their development (or anything that is unclear). Please correct any grammar that is off. I've tried to proofread, but...you know how it is. Also, please point out any flaws in the plot (anything illogical, unrealistic, too banal, etc).

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Wren is an orphan boy living with his old grandfather, peacefully and happily, when he is faced by a whole series of disasters much too harsh for just a young child of twelve. There is no choice for him but to face the road ahead, but the only problem is, how? ***This is something a friend and I cooked up a plan of a long time ago, and I've decided to start it up again, though by myself. I THINK my friend has lost interest in writing, sadly. Please give me the best feedback you can.

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The Wizard Diaries is a comedic fantasy series about how the tropes and idioms of traditional fantasy stories would relate to actual history. It's written as if it were an ancient historical document that had been uncovered and translated, like Beowulf or the Morte D'Arthur.

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This story is about a woman in her mid twenties discovering herself and dealing with issues from her childhood. It's also a story of murder, deceit, love, hate, etc. Tiamat Ashtad, or Tash as she is called, is a half angel who spent her childhood in foster homes. She survived child abuse in many forms and grew into a strong young woman. As she faces her past and discovers her niche in life her future is in doubt. I'm looking for feedback on everything. Don't worry about being gentle I've got thick skin. I do however ask that you respect myself and my characters. I'm here to learn and grow. :)

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This is chapter one of a novel. The story will be the hero's journey. This first chapter introduces the brothers, the central characters, and reveals a bit of their strengths, the threat and type of magic that is woven through the story.

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The tomb has been opened, the first king of the land freed, but also released was an ancient demon. A group of five young people and a gnome race to discover the location of an ancient artifact that can either transport or repel the invasion of the demon's kin from an erratic moon. Any and all feedback is appreciated.

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Kiel Thrice-Loved labors under the burden of a truth both too terrible to hide or reveal.

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Valentine is a Child of Loki and one of the original Berserker tribesmen of Norse Folklore. With unobstructed access to the minds of his chosen victims and the ability to assume their precise physical characteristics, Valentine takes what he wants, when and from where he pleases. He is the ultimate identity thief, unconstrained by the password-encrypted barriers his human counterparts face. Only a conscience and the inherent loneliness his immortality brings, stand between Valentine and the decadent life of leisure lead by his brothers and sisters. 'Mirror man' is the second draft of a previous submission, 'Identity Thief'.

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A story of unity, friendship, and courage. Falco is an orphan of fifteen, living in a little Hut Sam made a long, long time ago, with seven other people, all poor. They live across the old bridge from Lorville, the main village of Lorale, an eastern realm of Men in Maren. But for the past years, the whole land has been cast over with shadow, unknown except for the fact that it undoubtedly comes from the northern evil realm of Shador. Word is that a fearful power is rising again, and so everyone living in Maren trembles at the thought of a disasterous future. No longer do the creatures venture out of their homes, and most races have long since hidden away. But of course, none of that mattered much to Falco and his 'family' in the past, since they had each other and were thankful enough for that. But famine has struck Lorale once again after many years, and in desperate need for money, Falco ventures out into the village to find some work. He does, luckily (or so he thinks at first), but the man he is to work for is extremely strange and mysterious, and frighteningly ghastly-looking. But there's no other way he can turn to to earn money fast, and besides, he can't help feel proud of himself for finding a place to work so quickly. But after this first encounter with a stranger he's never seen before, more odd things begin to happen. Secrets are uncovered, even within his circle of family. But it's all just the beginning... ALL AND ANY FEEDBACK IS WELCOME. I'D ESPECIALLY APPRECIATE SUGGESTIONS REGARDING THE PLOTLINE AND THE BELIEVABILITY OF THINGS. GRAMMATICAL ISSUES, I'M PLANING TO FOCUS ON AFTER I FINISH THE WHOLE PIECE.

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Someone stole a grain bin from a cantankerous farmer in rural Alberta, and Valerie Stevens is on the case. Finding it should be an easy task for the police, too bad the thief has been dead for nearly one hundred years. She's a senior civil servant for Government Services and Infrastructure Canada, though her name won't be found on any government ledger. The Prime Minister will deny any knowledge of her existence, even though he's in the habit of calling her apartment on a hot line to get the scores of last night's hockey game from her boyfriend. She's been accused of sorcery, and she prefers to be known as an alchemist. Her connection to the unseen world is the ghost of a long-dead Canadian Prime Minister, and that grain bin? Well, it just fell out of a hole in reality, crash landing on a busy Calgary intersection at rush-hour. What's a grain bin got to do with an undead presence . The only ones with answers are a group of corrupt cops who moonlight as vampires, an ogre names Dennis, and of course, a werewolf with a low self-esteem. It's all in a day's work for Valerie Stevens as she tries to save city from a baneful and simmering evil that's about to be unleashed

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These are the first few chapters of what I hope will become a very long work of serial epic fantasy. (I aspire to being favorably compared with Robert Jordan, Stephen R. Donaldson, and George R.R. Martin.) I'll accept any and all feedback at this point. But I'm most specifically looking for feedback on the pacing of the novel, whether the action is too quiet (if you will) and really, what you believe is needed (if anything) to carry the momentum of the novel such that folks are waiting eagerly in line for the second book in the series.

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I have the body of a goblin-kin, but even more shocking, is that I chose to become this monster. I was a soldier who believed in honor and discipline, but those two concepts are not even understood in the society I must now embrace. Two images from my past haunt my present: my betrothed, Altherie Evenal, and the gnome in my tapestry. I understand why Altherie is constantly in my thoughts, but the gnome from my tapestry is an enigma. Although he was only a wall hanging, he seems as real as the woman I love. Could there be a connection between my obsession with his image and my current predicament? Or is he the key to my release, my salvation from the body of the monster I now inhabit?

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Sometimes in life we cannot choose who's in our family. Even when we may not know they are family when we first meet them. Journey along with Kira as she searches for her missing brothers and discovers a whole new dimension to her family.

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I like to think of this story as Harry Potter meets the X-men meets Final Fantasy 8. It stars a boy, James Conrall, fresh out of high school. He gets a mysterious letter to a school for people with special abilities. And that's all I'm going to say for now.

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One of the writing I did for the college's fiction magazine about The Polar Bear searching for The Northern lights when it went missing from the arctic. I would like people to look at the grammatical error and meaning in this story, for I would like to if my message was being carried well to the readers or not.

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Summary: When his puppy died at the hand of 'Death', Hunz leaves his home in search of someone who could mend his wounded heart. A/N: This is my rough revision thus far.The story was intended for young adult and 10+ audience. I'm still looking for one to two more reviews on story and grammar before I can make another revision. Thank you for your help. I'm really appreciate it. Nasp Semeku, Frolicing under the moon.

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