Wet Dog Smell

I am actually thinking of adding this to the beginning of my "Around the World & 80 Conversations" Book...it is a stand-alone piece though. Some disturbing scenes are here, especially for animal lovers. I want feed back on: 1) Grammar 2) Does the first sentence draw you in? 3) Do the characters sound real? 4)Does it have suspense?

• Page 1 - Wet Dog Smell"I am actually thinking of a..."